a new york christmas?
Since I’ve lived here, in New York, my end-of-year routine has typically involved going back home to St.Vincent or, in recent years, to St. Lucia for Christmas.
As a result, my Christmases have been warm, jovial and healing—made harmonious with good food and the company of family. December through mid-January has always been marked by the comfort of familiarities. Moving to the States made the holidays transform into a season of reward and reconnection as I would count down the days until I boarded my flight. Until I could finally dissolve into the easiest version of myself that existed effortlessly.
I expected that the Botanical Gardens would be lit up, Nine Mornings celebrations would be taking place across the island and Jax would be having its seasonal sales. I expected that in a few days, the fruits that had been soaking in rum on the counter for over a year would flavour the black cakes my mother would bake in our kitchen. Some years, we’d attend a special Christmas service at church but if not, we’d sleep in until mid-morning and head downstairs for fried ham, plantains and cocoa tea.
This year, I won’t be a part of the holiday travel rush and it feels so strange.
But by being in NYC, I’ve been a witness to many city holiday traditions that I would miss otherwise—the holiday markets, the Rockefeller tree lighting and that inescapable Mariah Carey song.
The idea of a white Christmas, though aesthetically pleasing, has never appealed to me much—have you seen the brown slush this city becomes when it snows?? (Not to mention the wicked, slicing cold that comes around this time.) There’s also the overcrowding brought on by the slew of tourists and the social pressure to gift and gift well.
I’m not a grinch, I promise, but when you grow up listening to Christmas parang, going to village light-ups and sipping sorrel and ginger beer, your expectations for Christmas festivities often go unmatched.
Nevertheless, I hope to find a balance between my longing for those beloved rituals and my inevitable New York style Christmas. I’m sure it will be fulfilling in its own way, and perhaps remind me of the true reason for our celebrations.
Happy Holidays to you and yours!
<3
