the modern paradox: virtual reality
An even simpler truth is that when we close the app, it all goes away. The lives that we live away from our screens come into focus and suddenly we’re back at work or in class, hunched over a device.
My very first Instagram post was sometime in 2015...I think. I deleted my original account years ago and honestly, I can’t think past that time to imagine life without social media.
What did we even do back then? Maintain eye contact?
Of course, now, the app has revolutionized into something much more than a space for candid moments and unironic peace signs. Instagram, as well as similar platforms like Twitter, Pinterest and Facebook now hold weight in a way we never quite expected.
Similar to LinkedIn—which in itself is beginning to pick up as a “trophy case” platform—our social media are a presentation of our social resume. The amassment of our posts, likes, retweets, comments, and followers determines the weight of our online presence and thus, our social net worth. It’s the reason why many of us—from the casual scroller to the blue-tick influencer—try our best to make the most out of filters, angles, and aesthetics—whatever it is that will give us the best online presence.
The most striking part of this entire process is how convinced we become that this virtual world we’ve constructed is a reality. Unless you’ve somehow curated your feed to only show aunties in their late 50s, you’re probably consuming content that has altered reality—distorted, skewed, digitally—enhanced versions of real life.
When we scroll through Instagram and Twitter, taking in posts of new houses, baecations and expensive outfits, that’s it. We most likely have little to no context for these images, yet they become embedded in our minds as another standard to compare ourselves to, another achievement to be jealous of and another insecurity to battle.
The simple truth is that we don’t always see or acknowledge the reality behind these social presentations—the fitness model’s poor eating habits, the new homeowner struggling with their mortgage or the entrepreneur making everyday sacrifices.
An even simpler truth is that when we close the app, it all goes away. The lives that we live away from our screens come into focus and suddenly we’re back at work or in bed, hunched over a device.
Even in the case that we do have some context for the content we consume, we can sometimes become blind-sided by these parasocial relationships. No matter how much we keep up with the Kardashians or check in on our favourite influencers, this valued investment only exists on our side.
These surface-level interactions only serve to drive a wedge between real life and virtual life.
This isn’t to downplay the upsides of social media, like genuine connections, networking, marketing advantages and memes, but to reveal how trivial the social media ecosystem really is. And as critical as I am of the way we use social media, I am just as guilty as the next person—my screen time can attest to that.
Figuring out how to manage online perceptions and social media usage can be difficult but not impossible.
1. Set a timer, gain a reward
Sure, you can set time limits on apps to curb your usage, but if you’re anything like me, you end up ignoring them. An alternative/additive is to set an actual timer on your phone’s clock app with the most obnoxious sound available. After your blissful 10-15 minutes of scrolling is interrupted by an emergency siren, set your phone aside and take a break from the app for twice as long (20-30 minutes). Use this time to stretch, look outside or get some water. The reward? Your mind and body get a break. It’s a long-term investment, sorry c:
2. Consume long-form content
The biggest hook of apps such as TikTok and Instagram is short-form content, i.e., a 30-second video of a cat hanging from a balcony, which cuts off right as it’s about to fall. Then, you’re left empty, desolate and unfulfilled, so the scrolling continues. Long-form content like <10-minute YouTube videos, blog posts (like this one) and podcasts can present a stimulus that isn’t only fulfilling, but one that allows you to pay attention for a longer period of time.
3. Curate your feed
If you’re tired of consuming “meaningless” content and you find yourself drawn away from topics that interest you, try curating your feed. This might look like (un)following certain accounts, searching for specific content (instead of taking whatever the algorithm offers) or using feedback buttons to hide or dismiss posts that don’t appeal to you.
4. Spend time with (actual) people
Social media’s almost invisible disclaimer is that online perceptions ≠ real life. Spending time with family and friends reminds us that perfection is an illusion. Real people have real problems, real relationships and real accomplishments. And as much as we admire/idolize online personas, let’s also remind ourselves that they’re real people too. So go get a coffee with a classmate, catch up with your neighbour or call up an old friend.
These are but a few personal tried-and-true suggestions for regulating time spent on social media that have been engineered for addiction. Remember the importance of moderation and to refocus on the reality beyond your screens.
